Dr. Orma was recently interviewed by Brides magazine on ways for perfectionist brides to manage stress and have more fun with their wedding.
For many idealistic brides, being a perfectionist can literally suck the fun (and funds!) out of the entire wedding planning process. Whether it’s indecision you’re grappling with or wanting everything to be “just right”, putting yourself into debt and making everyone else around you, yourself included, absolutely miserable isn’t exactly the greatest way to go about achieving a dream wedding, now is it? If you’d actually like to enjoy the process even a little bit, here’s how to let go and just have fun with it. Dr. Steve Orma, a San Francisco-based clinical psychologist who specializes in anxiety, stress, and insomnia, offers his best tips.
Set some boundaries
Believe it or not, many perfectionists also tend to be people pleasers so it’s important to not only set some boundaries with yourself, but with others too. “Don’t take on more than you can handle and be willing to say no to pushy relatives or friends who try to tell you what to do,” advises Dr. Orma.
Stick to a budget
Blowing through all your savings on your big day is bound to create some serious anxiety and stress in your relationship. That’s why Dr. Orma recommends making your ceremony/reception as close to your dream wedding as you can, keeping in mind what you can easily afford and what you can’t. After all, “Money is one of the top stressors for people.”
Ask for help
Because of their control issues, perfectionists often have a hard time asking for assistance when they need it the most. “Don’t try to do it all yourself,” warns Dr. Orma. “Hire people to help you if you can afford it.” A wedding planner who shares the same tastes and a similar style to you can be a perfectionist bride’s BFF.
Take care of yourself
Perfectionist or not, wedding planning can be extremely stressful, and sometimes under stress we forget to do the basics, like eating, sleeping and resting, says Dr. Orma. “Self care is vital.” Treat yourself to a nice massage or go for a run outside to release those endorphins.
Buy a comfortable dress
Before you say yes to the dress, make sure you’re completely comfortable in it and can dance, move, walk, bend over and sit down with ease. “If it’s too tight or not the style you wanted, that will only create discomfort and stress,” cautions Dr. Orma.
Give yourself enough time to plan
Procrastination and perfectionism often go hand in hand so do allow yourself enough time to plan the wedding of your dreams. “Pace yourself and take plenty of breaks,” suggests Dr. Orma. And remember not to let indecision get the best of you. Once you’ve settled on a color scheme, theme or any idea really, stop perusing wedding blogs and Pinterest for inspiration.
(Article by Elizabeth Mitchell)